100 Top Comedy SMS for Everyone Collection in Hindi/English

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100 Top Comedy SMS for Everyone Collection in  Hindi/English

Ek Sarkari Dafttar k board pe likha hua tha: KRIPAYA SHOR NA KAREIN”.
Kisi ne uske niche likh diya:
“VARNA HUM JAAG JAYENGE”.
Govt. Office Zindabaad”..

Dudh wala- dahi lage dahi?
English man- “dahi what is doi?
Dudh wala- milk is sleeping in the night,
morning it becomes tight.. its call dahi.

1 pyara sa koi sandesh bhej do
Dosti ka saccha updesh bhej do
Agar dosto ko 1 SMS bhi na ho sake tumse to
Kisi BHIKHARI ko apna Mobile bech do

Loha Lohe Ko Kaat’ta Hai,
Hira Hire Ko Kaat’ta Hai,
Aap ko Bhi Ek Din Kutta Kaatega,
Qki..
Kutta kisi ko b kaat sakta he.
B positive yaar.

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Bhojpuri ishq-
Taj mahal kaun chiz ba,
hum ehu se badi imarat banwaib,
Mumtaz to mar ke dafan bhail rahe,
tohke sasuri hum zinda dafnaib.

Ek Sarkari Dafttar k board pe likha hua tha: KRIPAYA SHOR NA KAREIN”.
Kisi ne uske niche likh diya:
“VARNA HUM JAAG JAYENGE”.
Govt. Office Zindabaad”..
Dudh wala- dahi lage dahi?
English man- “dahi what is doi?
Dudh wala- milk is sleeping in the night,
morning it becomes tight.. its call dahi.

1 pyara sa koi sandesh bhej do
Dosti ka saccha updesh bhej do
Agar dosto ko 1 SMS bhi na ho sake tumse to
Kisi BHIKHARI ko apna Mobile bech do

Police: Humne tumhe,
charo taraf se gher liya hai..!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
awesome reply by chor- CHOR: Chalo fir garbaa khelte hai ….

Loha Lohe Ko Kaat’ta Hai,
Hira Hire Ko Kaat’ta Hai,
Aap ko Bhi Ek Din Kutta Kaatega,
Qki..
Kutta kisi ko b kaat sakta he.
B positive yaar.

If u doNt touch your books for many days, which song the books will sing?
.
.
ZARA ZARA TOUCH ME TOUCH ME TOUCH ME

How 2 kill a girl ?
Give her a beautiful dress.
nice jewelery.
costly cosmetics.
Then lock her in a room without a mirror.
Tadap Tadap kar mar jayegi..

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Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare? Pupil: No. Teacher: What have you read then? Pupil: Umm, I’ve got red hair!

Milk is white, tree is green, see is blue, Sun is yellow but you are Red, because you are my blood.

What is true friendship? Slap it hard. I will feel your pain this is true friendship.

When I’m single, all I see are couples being happy. When I’m dating someone, all I see are singles being happy.

A rose is always a rose whether it’s in a golden pot or on the ground. Same way my friend is always my friend, whether he is in central jail or in mental hospital…

Santa: Doctor, this medicine
is not available at any medical store.
Doctor:oh sorry,
I forgot to write the medicine.
That was my signature.

A boy met a girl in Metro.
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy: Awwww… Are you single?
Girl: No, I am a Dentist!

Madam: Complete the sentence. “Early to bed, early to rise…”
Happu: This man has neither WiFi nor Wife or Girlfriend!

My girlfriend said she wants me
to make her feel like she is the only girl in the world.
So I’m going to drop her off in the desert and leave!

Gurmeet Ram Rahim refuses to wear jail uniform,
insists on wearing his own designer multicolour clothes instead

Santa asked to Ramdev Baba- Baba I want to learn such Yoga
Which makes me owner of Patanjali Ayurved.

Tum Bhi Likha Karo Shayri
Tumhara Bhi Meri tarah Naam Ho Jayega,
Jab Tum Par Bhi Padenge Ande Aur Tamatar
To Sham Ki SABJI Ka Intezam Ho Jayega..

Hindu marriage Láw doesn’t permit 2 marriage?
Coz- Indian Constitution árticle 20(2) says: “No human cán be punished twice 4 the sáme offence…

Boy1: Meet my wife
Boy2: Oh! I knw her
B1: Hw?
B2: V wer caught sleepng 2gether
B1: Wat d fcuk?
B2: In college during history lecture class ..
MORAL: Think+ B+

Girl- your new mobile is very cute. How much does it cost?
Boy- Darling I won in a “Race” – Daur.
Girl-how many people were in the race?
Boy- mobile shop owner, 3 policemen and I…..whatsapp jokes

Samundar Se Keh Do Apni Lehre Samhaal ke Rakhe,
Zindgi me Tufan Laane k Liye Hmara”Result”Hi Kaafi Hai..

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Science vala Sochta hai k Rose kaise bana?
Arts vala Sochta hai k Rose kaise Draw karu.?
But
Commerce vala Sochta hai k Rose kise Du.?
Dat’s marketing…

Once der was a fight between Me and a Tiger…
I Ran away…
Why?
To Save d Tiger…
Only 1411 r left!!! 😉
Otherwise u know me..

Propose or get married to a girl today and cut off your anniversary expenses upto 75% in coming years.
Your’s sincerely 29th Feb……..comedy sms in english

perfect things in life u should never lose:
1. Character
2. Self respect
3. Hope
4. Heart
5. ????
Well…….. u know my name right..?

A girl chatting with a boy:
Girl: I love you
Boy: I love you too
Girl: Too late
Boy: You texted me at 10:55, I replied back at 10:57
Girl: What the hell were you doing at 10:56?

Top 5 funny shop names
1-Gandhi hair care
2-Malika saree centre
3-Salman marriage beauro
4-Dolly bindra fitness centre
5-Rakhi sawant satsang kendra

Student’s Life is Like Hollywood Movies
School = Jurassic Park..
Principal = King Kong..
Vice Principle = Hulk..
Teachers = Aliens..
Class Guys = Planet of Apes..
Class Gals = Charlies Angels..
Syllubus = Deep Blue Sea
Exam = Mission Impossible
Invigilator = Terminator..
Result = 2018 ..(end of the world)

Breaking News:
After watching so much ‘Exuberance’ & ‘Drama’ at JNU
‘ISIS’ & ‘Lashkar’ are planning to visit JNU for ‘Campus Recruitment’!

A shocking note left by a wife while going out for shopping
"Dear Husband, your wallet was getting fat so I am taking it out for a walk."

Apple- I look like the human heart
Mango- I look like a stomach
Grapes- I look like eyes
Banana- I hate this game

Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product?
Bunty: MS Excel
Lucky: MS Word
Bittu: MS Powerpoint
Pappu after thinking a lot, "MS Dhoni"!