My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death!
My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
My father always told me, find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀
Me Normal? WHO SAID THAT! I’ll stab them with a gummy bear!
I’m soo poor… I can’t even pay attention
I wish people looked like their personalities..
Muahahahahahahahaha I just saw a Purple Unicorn with a Blue Monkey holding a Red Lolly-pop and going over the Rainbow!! As you can see I’m really hyper!! 😀
A dog will love you more then your wife… Don’t believe me? Lock both in the trunk of your car for an hour then see which one will be happy to see you.
OK, I laughed often (got stared at), I loved harder (one new restraining order), and I danced like no one was watching,.. THAT was when they locked me up! HELP!
I’m a Teenager: I have a messy room. I spend most of my time online. I have private shit on my phone. I go to bed late do whatever the fuck I like and I’m crazy about 1 person.
I’m too shy at first but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shit.
When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic!!!
If I look like I am arguing with myself don’t worry about it. I am trying to reason with the voices in my head. They want me to hit you.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂
Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) 🙂
Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
That awkward moment when the awkward moment get even more awkward!
Silence is the loudest words you can speak sometimes when you want to be heard more.
I’m batter than you Ex and better then your NEXT!
Relax we’re all crazy it’s not a competition
My friend said I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it’s usually ’cause I just told myself a joke I’d never heard before.
Someone once told me that if you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean. If you hold a peanut shell to your ear, can you hear the circus ?
Best line said by a guy to a Girl: The day i will go on knees for another girl … is the day i will tie a shoe lace for our daughter.. 🙂
I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I’ve got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory.
The purple monkeys are out to get me…I swear they are. They have teamed up the the sock eating garden gnomes…they are trying to invade my bubble wrap fort.
would love go into a carpet store dressed as Aladdin, sit on one of those rectangle carpet samples and yell out “HOW DO WE GET THIS THING TO WORK?”
Boyfriend message to his Girfriend: Baby Sorry too Disturb you. can you send Me your Photo? It’s Urgent Serious matter “we r playing cardS & I have Lost my Queen” !!!!
Cannot trust anyone these days, fake is becoming the new trend…
A crush a day keeps love away.!!
I don’t give up on people easily. But when I do, I don’t even care to see if they are breathing anymore..!!
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
May this Christmas be so special that you never ever feel lonely again and be surrounded by loved ones!
My friend’s status was “Out on a ledge in despair, about to jump”. So I “poked” them. hehe
Some guy said that I was dancing with a Cavs player tonight and I don’t think he really was but I’m just gonna go with it
Be Silly. Be kind. Be weird. Jump Ocean. Walk in sunshine. Eat the delicious food. Love truly. There’s no time for anything else.
I am never in a bad mood, its people around me that suck.
Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror.
If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at least make one of them pretty!
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
God made coke. God made Pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well…we all make mistakes